all barefoot and moss
Notes from the 4am writing club
Beautiful sun rise this morning.
I’m up and awake at 4am. It is light already. A soft June sky, wisps of clouds in shades of lilac and peach. I’m drinking a pint of water and flipping through my new manuscript like I am not me. Do you ever do that? Read your work and try to pretend you didn't write it? You kinda squint and read your new work from another imagined perspective. It has been about a month since I submitted this book, the new changes and chapters still smell of wet paint.
I have an editorial meeting today with my agent and my editor. I have rising anxiety and excitement about this lunch, it feels like a big deal to get proper feedback face to face. I don’t think this part of the process ever gets any easier. It’s exciting. Nerve wracking. Funny to think there are just four, or maybe five human beings on this round green planet, who have read my new novel and three of us will meet today to talk about it. This stage is tender, I am tender. I feel I am so easily swayed, so easily led, so easily flattered, so easily broken too. I feel like this book stripped my skin off … writing this one book has turned me inside out. Books often teach you something when you write them, they change you, and The Life Of Life has been a fierce teacher. I just know I am not the same as I was at page one. It feels like writing this book used up the best of my crayons.
Here, I sat down and shared the palette of the present, all the brightest of my colours, my favourite flavours, some secrets and wishes and nightmares, the beat of this heart, the rhythm of this time. I revealed names of angels, then I drew faces of the demons fizzing inside this body, this space, this energy. Writing: It’s a generosity and a betrayal and a madness of sorts. It is so strange to share the intimate magic inside us. I do this for a living, I share the whispers I hear in the wind, in the water and the trees. Odd choice, to share the soul and empty the heart for your daily bread. But it is too late now, I have gone so far down this path that I made for myself that I cannot remember any other route, or way to be, and it was never about bread, not really. It was something I felt was necessary. This book is different from the others. I think that’s ok, but it scares me. I worry it will get bullied when it goes to school in a new shiny jacket. Mrs Death Misses Death gave me the same feelings, I think this fear is good.
Now I imagine going into a deep forest to hide this new book, bury it, water it, let it grow into a tree. I live in the forest, nurturing it, book mother, all barefoot and moss, all bramble and twig. I believe it would grow tall and be a strong and beautiful tree if I did that and so I’ll remember this day dream in my editorial meeting today. Wish me luck.
For now, here’s some of the colours in my palette, my latest favourites, the first baby tomato of the season, a visit from a red admiral butterfly in the poppies, delicious velvet peonies and heaven-blue and lilac delphiniums.
*I wrote this note and thought I should be adding it as a real post. A moment of my brain and writing process. Work is in progress. Sharing with love and thanks to my super agent and editor, thank you for a beautiful conversation Leah and Crystal, and now back to my garden. How strange to think my brave new novel ‘The Life of Life’ will be in our hands and hearts this time next year, the summer of 2026, what a dream, thank you xxsg
GIG NEWS:
I accidentally have three very cool gigs this month. I didn’t mean it, it just happened this way. They are all a collaborative vibe, and centred in holding space and community, sharing healing and empathy, charity and fundraising. A little bit Punk and DIY and a little bit off circuit. Not for profit, or even a fee, but for friends and our global family and something much bigger than me. I feel like that’s where my poetry began in the 1990’s and where it is leading me to again right now. I think this will be a summer of recovery and discovery, peaceful and joyful protest and lots of books. I won’t be doing much more than this batch of shows until my ‘With Love, Grief and Fury’ paperback launch in autumn, so come and dive into some of these heart gardens with me, please share and support indie publishing and indie art events and donate when and where you can, sending BIGlove and many thanks Xx
✨June 13th - LONDON
FRQNCY LDN A live and immersive sonic experience exploring the effects of sound on the mind and body.with Alex Lavery, Nikita Gill, Amrit Kaur, Arun Ghosh, Raven Bush and James Ford, St Matthias Church, Stoke Newington.
✨June 14th - SUFFOLK
‘Poetry Sings’ an evening of poetry and books with Salena Godden in St Mary’s Church, Walpole, Halesworth, Suffolk.
✨June 19th - HASTINGS
‘Poet Town X Refugee Buddy Project’ local poets gather for Refugee Week fundraising for The Refugee Buddy Project at The Print Works, featuring a glorious plethora of local poets, co-hosted and curated by Salena Godden and Oli Spleen. More about ‘Poet Town’ in my next post.
The month of June is completed by teaching adventures at Moniack Mhor in Scotland with Louisa Young which is all sold out and then a mini-tour of Ireland with live shows at Cairde and Sligo Arts Festival and Cork Literary Festival more on this adventure later too.
June is my favourite, a most magic month. My birthday month, big energy, the Strawberry Moon and the long solstice light. Happy Pride and midsummers Xx
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It’s not for the bread! Can’t wait to read this next one.