With Love, Grief and Fury
With Love, Grief and Fury
Pale as the rain, thin as December
0:00
Current time: 0:00 / Total time: -4:09
-4:09

Pale as the rain, thin as December

Pale as the rain
thin as December 
we were meant to get paid
but the boss don’t remember 
Kelly gets me groceries 
tea, bread and honey 
she knows I’m always out
and I never have money 
Paper faces pass 
without any light
I’m running out, little faith, big doubt 
and I’m all out of fight
I get tired of walking 
sit in a urine-drenched doorway
the church steps of Trafalgar Square 
Christmas tree from Norway
Share a smoke with a tramp
I ask him, what makes stars wink
God, he says, God, the Star Of David 
twinkles there, he thinks
pound coin in your hand 
but you walk all the way home 
some days you don’t have a penny
but miles and miles and miles alone 
Pale as the rain
thin as December 
it’s like this every year 
that much I remember
If you get the taxi
the fags and the wine
I’ll give you all I have, this song
all my love and all my time
the West End is glaring 
like a whore with her legs splayed 
somebody jumped on the tracks 
now the tube trains are delayed
And I don’t give a damn who turned on 
the bright lights of Oxford Street 
the Big Issue is the hole in your soul
the hole in the sole of the boots on my feet 
What don’t kill me 
will only make me stronger
wish somebody would hold me 
I’d shut up a little longer
Piers gave me his old coat 
and all he had to share 
he knew I wouldn’t, couldn’t ask
it was more than I could bare
Pale as the rain
thin as December 
the strangeness of kindness
this kindness I remember 
So I sold a poem and I went to a bar
got a shot of what you got
for every pretty girl
and I felt like a rock star
Felt so good to say, put your money away 
baby, I’ll get this round
made me feel like a capable being 
somebody worth being around 
I said, who wants a rhyme, who wants a line
lets have some vodka, fags and wine
baby, get in the mini-cab
everybody’s coming back to mine
everybody back to mine 
everybody back to mine
everybody back to mine 


Sharing this song from my archives today.

‘Pale As The Rain’ was released with our band SaltPeter on the ‘Hunger’s The Best Sauce’ album around 2007. Words and vocals by Salena Godden, music by Salena Godden and Peter Coyte. I am not very good at playing guitar but I remember picking out this melody and walking around the December streets of London, writing these lyrics, humming this tune, feeling this way. I reckon it must be around now, maybe December 2004, maybe exactly twenty years ago. I share it today for you, for Giving Tuesday, sharing it for Grief Awareness week, sharing it because I just heard it and remembered the loss I felt in this time, how it was another time and place and another era. I still have a map of that time of London in my head, I still carry the feeling of it.

Sharing with remembrance, love and solidarity.

If you can please share and donate to:

The Big Issue

Centre Point

Shelter

Refugee Community Kitchen

Choose Love

Save The Children

Action for Humanity

UNICEF

MAP

Share With Love, Grief and Fury


Hello my lovelies, how are you?

Hope you are ok.

November for me was very busy, miles of people and poetry, highs and lows, gig nerves and excitements, tears and laughter, snow and whisky. I took some long train journeys to Holland and Scotland. I performed with Cold War Steve, Jeremy Deller and Max Porter in Bristol. Then I read a poem at my friends funeral in Amsterdam, which was a great honour and a beautiful gathering. I came home and chatted about books on stage with Irenosen Okojie and Luan Goldie in my local library. Then I was up in Edinburgh to perform at The Radical Book Fair with the mighty Lisa Luxx and Hasib Hourani. I also performed at The Push The Boat Out Festival with the incredible Leyla Josephine, Alan Spence and Andres N Ordorica. The festival ended with a celebration gig of the life and work of Benjamin Zephaniah and I spoke alongside Dean Atta, Raymond Antrobus, Kadija Sesay and Qian Zephaniah. Next thing I knew I was back in London and performing at the Stop The War fundraiser, then I was in at The Coronet Theatre poetry club with beautiful Ella Frears and Glyn Maxwell in Notting Hill.

Phew….

I am just catching my breath this week. Thank you to everyone that came out to see me. Thank you to everyone that came to say hello and get a book signed. I met so many ace faces on this tour this year. I have just one more LIVE show to do and then the Gigging Monster is back in her box for a bit.

This Friday December 6th I’m at TOAST at the Norwich Theatre, Norwich Playhouse. Excited to be sharing the stage with the exceptional writers, Caleb Femi and Michael Symmons Roberts, host Lewis Buxton. Local to Norwich? Come along! One last huzzah before I hibernate…

Grab the last tickets to TOAST here

Looking ahead, I’m involved with an amazing project for 2025 called Poet Town.

On Sunday December 8th, you can watch a live interview with myself and my beautiful friends, Oli Spleen and Merlin Betts, chatting about Poet Town, a new community project that is celebrating 200 years of poets and poetry in and around my hometown of Hastings and the surrounding area. We have come together to produce an epic poetry anthology, edited by St Leonards-born poet Richard Newham-Sullivan, plus interviews, films, events and an exhibition, all happening in Hastings in the new year…

Read more: https://www.hastingsindependentpress.co.uk

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/poet-town-salena-115475267

Shout out to Rough Trade Books — They are donating a share of profits from all purchases bought via the website to War Child Charity, starting from now until the end of the year, so your generous gift-giving will also be helping others around the world…

Pessimism is for Lightweights ✨ roughtradebooks.com

NEW podcast listen: Book Off! Salena Godden and Hollie McNish. I so enjoyed recording this with Hollie, chatting about books and gigs and sharing poetry. This is a very lovely uplifting listen, just to counterbalance the melancholy wintry song I shared at the top of this post.

Ok I think that is all for today …

For now I’ll just say thank you for listening and sharing my work and thank you for following. You’re all so lovely. I have been enjoying being on Substack for the last six months or so, and love the interactions and reading your notes and posts. Overall I am feeling pretty knackered, but blessed and grateful to be at home and writing this page to you right now. We shared big feelings and hugs and tears and laughter and hope and courage together this year.

Keep on keeping on, keep on keeping on, keep on,

sgxx

Thanks for reading ‘With Love, Grief and Fury’

Discussion about this podcast

With Love, Grief and Fury
With Love, Grief and Fury
My new personal Substack - sharing poetry and memoir, notes and news, my latest books, my work in progress, and the 4am Writing Club
Listen on
Substack App
RSS Feed
Appears in episode
Salena Godden